When the rubber hits the road

Recently, I have been watching Boy Meets World in the mornings while the wife is at work.  ABC Famliy - which is actually not very family friendly nowadays - airs five episodes each weekday.  I had been watching it occasionally and happened to catch the last two episodes of the series last week.  This week, they started over at the beginning, so I DVRed them.  This has been one of my better choices in the past month.  It is a great show!  I remember watching as a kid, wishing I could be like Cory and Shawn.  Now as an adult, I appreciate the dry humor of the adults so much more.  Also, being a father and a teacher, I better understand the struggles of Mr. & Mrs. Matthews and Mr. Feeny.

In the first season, Cory grows up a lot.  He learns the importance of friendship, even though it's not always easy being a best friend.  He learns that the adults in his life are not trying to ruin it, but protect it.  He learns that he should be a kid for as long as the world lets him.

There are times when I think about how great it would be to be a kid again.  I can remember a time when I woke up in the morning and worried about who I was going to play with on the playground or what game we could play.  I didn't have to think about how I would get from point A to point B.  In fact, most times I didn't even know there was a point B and if I did, I didn't know where it was.

Now, as a married man with a baby, I have to face the harsh realities of the real world.  There are bills to pay, a list of tasks to complete around the house, and friends to try and keep up with who all have jobs and busy schedules.  More importantly, I am responsible for getting the wife, baby boy, and myself into Heaven.  Oh yeah, I'm also supposed to be Christ to everyone I meet and preach His Gospel.  In today's world.  Which has kind of gone to Hell in a hand basket.

Seriously folks, what is going on around us?  As kids we were taught right from wrong.  Now, as an adult, I can admit that there are situations where there is definite gray area.  However, for the most part, there is a right answer and a wrong answer.  The world is so wrapped up in being progressive and politically correct, people have lost sight of the fact that for many issues, there is a clear right and wrong.  God forbid we offend someone by calling them onto greatness in their lifestyle choices.    

Certainly, there are countless situations our society is currently facing where people have lost sight of any moral code.  Above all the others, the one I cannot seem to let go of (nor should I) is the issue of abortion.

Pro-life legislators in Texas have introduced a bill which will ban abortions after 20 weeks, based on scientific evidence that unborn children can feel pain at 20 weeks.  It was passed on a second reading on Wednesday and a third reading vote was expected yesterday.  Sen. Marco Rubio is readying a similar bill to be introduced into the US Senate.  Representative Michael Burgess (who practiced as an OB/GYN for 25 years) believes that restricting abortions after 20 weeks is too late-he thinks they should be restricted at 15 or 16 weeks.  "Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” Burgess states. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to think that they could feel pain?"  What did the mainstream media have to say about that?  Yep, you guessed it.  Search Michael Burgess on Google and the first result is the Atlantic Wire's headline "GOP Congressman Wants to Ban Abortion to Save Masturbating Fetuses." Really?

Why is this even something we're arguing about anymore?  For at least the last thirty-odd years, scientists and doctors have agreed that life begins at conception.  This quote from 1975 is the earliest I found after a quick Google search: "The development of a human being begins with fertilization, a process by which two highly specialized cells, the spermatozoon from the male and the oocyte from the female, unite to give rise to a new organism, the zygote."

[Langman, Jan. Medical Embryology. 3rd edition. Baltimore: Williams and Wilkins, 1975, p. 3]  You can find at least a dozen more here.  The idea that life begins at conception is not news.  How do pro-abortion people even have a leg to stand on?  It infuriates me and makes me sick to my stomach that there are people in our world who are so incredibly selfish that that they will ignore (whether consciously or naively) the fact that from the moment a child is conceived, he has dignity and worth.  There's no disputing that when a sperm and an egg become an embryo, a human life is formed.  That people take it even further and decide that they have the right to end an unborn baby's life for convenience makes absolutely zero sense to me.  While there may be gray area in the world, murder is always black and white.  

I certainly do not hate or look down on people who believe otherwise or even those women who have had an abortion.  While I cannot comprehend why, I am by no means a perfect person and I know that there are things I have done in my life that I will have to answer for when I meet God.  Who am I to judge another person?  This post is not meant to condemn them.  I only pray that those people will have a change of heart and for God's mercy to be poured out on them.  

I know that even as it feels like the world is spinning out of control, God is control and now more than ever, we faithful need to trust in His providence.  We need to have confidence as we are a light in the darkness, because He has already won the victory.

Heavenly Father,

help me to be a light in the darkness of this world.  Give me Your words and guide me so that I may proclaim your Truth with courage.  Protect all unborn children and bring an end to the culture of death.  Pour out your love and mercy on us all and guide us to Your most Sacred Heart.

Amen 

Happy Mother's Day!

We're having a whizz-bang Mother's Day here in the Toth household.  Baby boy decided a few nights ago that he no longer enjoys sleeping through the night.  And the wife might have the flu!  So I'm exhausted and she doesn't want to risk holding baby boy until her fever's gone.  We were supposed to go to 8:30 Mass, work in the nursery at the 10 am Mass, then head out to the beach with some friends.  We haven't done any of those things this morning.

Instead, I hung out with baby boy while the wife slept.  Then we gave her her Mother's Day gift and made her breakfast.

The frame Baby Boy made for Mommy

Eggo Waffles with applesauce.  I had planned on making Snoopy pancakes-which we haven't had in months.  So far, this Mother's Day is not going as planned.

As I sat in the living room drinking coffee and wishing I could be asleep, I caught sight of Mary, who has been gracing us with her presence in the living room for four or five days now.

This statue of Mary sat in the front yard of the house I lived in from the time I was eight until I was eighteen.  When the Wife and I bought our house, my mother decided to give Mary to us.  She was very faded and worn, so my mother decided to give her a fresh coat of paint.  She's almost done and ready to move into her place in our flower bed outside our front door.  

Seeing Mary in our living room this morning reminded me of all of the wonderful mothers I know.  Mothers who give all they have for their children.  Mothers who love their children more than they love themselves.  Mothers who sacrifice so much to keep their children happy and healthy.  

I am grateful to have a mother who has done this for me.  As I grew up, I never doubted my mother's love for me.

I am grateful that my Baby Boy has a wonderful mother.  She went from being single, to being married, to being a mom in less than a year!  She is a total rockstar.  Not only does she take care of me (and I can be kind of high maintenance), but she takes such good care of this little guy:

Look how happy he is!

So to all the mothers out there-Happy Mother's Day!  Take some time for you today-you deserve it!  Thank you for all that you do!  You are so important to your little ones and to society as a whole!  Where would we be without our mothers?

Lord,

thank you for all mothers.  Thank you for my mother and for my wife.  Thank you for all the women in my life who have shown me Your love. Please bless all mothers today and always.  In a special way, bless those mothers who have particularly difficult struggles in their lives and all expectant mothers.  Mother Mary, pray for us now and always as we strive to imitate your sacrificial love.

Amen 

A person's a person, no matter how small

Today I had the privilege to sit back and enjoy the fruits of several months of hard work. I am the middle school drama club sponsor for the school where I work. We teamed up with the elementary chorus and the music teacher this year for our school's first ever "real" musical.  By "real" musical, I mean there are musical numbers with dancing, costumes, makeup, lights, sets, and it was about an hour and a half long, twice as long as last year's "musical" that I helped with (which was more of a concert with costumes and a plot).  We gave two performances this morning for the children at school and we will give two more on Friday off campus for parents and the public.

This experience has been one of the most stressful I have had to face in my job so far, but today it was all worth it.

Since January, we have been telling them how wonderful and talented they are.  We have been teaching and encouraging them until we felt like we couldn't anymore, sometimes with little result (much to our frustration).  Today, we had to say a prayer and then put all of the work we've done over the past few months into their hands.  I knew that the shows would be great, but I didn't know that the kids were capable of what they achieved today.  They were phenomenal!  They told their stories and created a world for the audience to step into.  They spoke to my heart very deeply.  They spoke of love, of sacrifice, of sticking to your guns, of believing in yourself, and of knowing that you are worth it regardless of how you look.

As I watched them, I realized just how blessed I am.  I don't always feel it, but I am blessed to know each one of them.  I am blessed to work where I work and with the people I work with.  I am grateful for the opportunity to teach each of these children.

There's more I want to say about all this, but the words escape me.  It's past my bedtime and today has been a long day,  Not to mention, we still have two more performances later this week!  But hey, I had to post before midnight so I could meet my quota.  =]

Lord, 

Thank You for all of the blessings You give me.  Thank You for the people You put into my life.  Help me to always see each person in my life as a blessing-especially when it is difficult to love them.  Bless all those who worked to make Seussical happen and please bless our dress rehearsal and performances later this week.  Help the kids to use their talents to give You glory.  Let them always know Your love.  

Amen

The wife started a blog. So, naturally, we are now in a competition to see whose blog is better.  Needless to say, I was quite disappointed that more people have looked at her blog, even though mine has been around longer.  Come on people!

In all seriousness, I am proud of her for starting a blog!  You can check it out at not shore anymore.  I think it's pretty fantastic, but I'm biased.  Back to me though (of course) - how can people like or even look at my blog if I never post anything?  There's currently at least one person in New Jersey feeling very smug because of my realization of this simple fact.  So, here I am.

So, what is this guy gonna write about in this post?

Good question.  What am I going to write about?

Well, it's been a year since the wife and I have been married!  Woohoo!!!  Technically, it's been 374 days, but who's counting?  That's crazy.  It's hard to believe twelve months have passed.  Until I'm home alone after work.  Except I'm not alone.  I'm with my three and a half month old baby boy!!  That definitely puts things into perspective.  I just love having him around.  Nowadays he smiles, giggles, coos, and he looks at me!  Notice how I said he looks at me, not that his eyes happen to be involuntarily pointing at me.  I can talk to my tiny human child - that I helped create - and he looks at me and smiles. I often find myself sopping up my melted heart off of the floor.  What a blessing to be a co-creator of a human person with a soul!  There ain't nothin' better.

Did he just go there?

Yep, I went there.  Whatever, sometimes I want to talk the way I want to talk.

Over the past several weeks, the wife and I have been reflecting on our first year of wedded bliss.  Not only did we get married (it's AWESOME), but we also bought a house and had a baby!!!  It has been a great year.  It has been full of blessings and graces and we have both learned a lot about what it means to be married.  One thing I know for sure is that I love being married.  More specifically, I love being married to my wife - she is pretty much the greatest.  Everyday, I get to wake up next to my best friend who puts my needs before hers while I try to put hers before mine.  It's a pretty sweet deal if you ask me.

In reflecting on the past year, I have also realized a lot of ways I can live a better life.  I certainly need to be more Christlike.  That's at least the top ten items on my list of improvements to make.  I also need to take more initiative and be more disciplined.  Obviously, the list is a lot longer than that (duh!), but for now, that's all I'm giving you.

So, in an attempt to become more disciplined, I am committing to post here once a week.  I'm not saying it's going to be Shakespeare (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!) or even that I expect you (yeah, you!) to check each week.  And I certainly don't have any plans in the works as far as what those posts will be about.  However, I will be here each week, faithfully droning on about whatever crosses my brain that day.  So, if you happen to be bored and it's been about a week, check back to see what I'm up to.  Or don't.  It's up to you, really.

Lord, thank you for all of your abundant blessings in our first year of marriage.  Thank you for the gifts of our beautiful baby boy and of our marital love.  Please continue to bless us in our marriage and help us to be a light to others.  Help me to conform my life to Yours.  Give me the strength and perseverance to be more disciplined in everything I do.  Bless all those whose lives are affected by tragedy in this world and hold them close to Your Sacred Heart.

Amen.

Election Day

Well, here we are in the midst of Election Day 2012. I can say with all certainty that part of me will be very glad to wake up tomorrow-whatever the outcome-because I won't have to endure all of the charged political ads that have even invaded Pandora and Facebook. I am also very anxious about what the future holds for our country. I know that I need to simply trust in the Lord-that He will provide for my needs, the needs of my family, and the needs of His Church. However, I can't help but sometimes feeling downright scared about the future. As the wife and I have watched some of the debates, experienced the campaigns, and checked out voting records, I am sure of one thing only. Regardless of today's results, I need to pray for our country. A lot. Especially as we prepare to bring a son into this world. I hope that our son will grow up in a country that is better than the one I grew up in and better than the one I live in now. But on this Election Day, I simply offer a prayer for those who will be elected and for all of the tough decisions they will have to make.

Lord, please bless today's election. Bless all those who voted, all those who will vote and all of the candidates. Whatever the outcome, help us to trust completely in Your providence.

Amen.

Life barrels on....

A friend was recently bugging me about updating my blog. I told her that I haven't had anything to write about and besides, it hasn't been that long since my last post... right? Well, I'm not too sure about you, but for me August 26th was a long time ago and a lot has happened since then. In a little over a month, our life has changed drastically! Not only did we purchase a home (yikes!) and move, but we're also taking on a larger role in a ministry we've been helping out with since we got married in April. Not to mention baby boy will be here in roughly 13 weeks!!! But like I said, I have nothing to blog about....

We started looking at homes in late July. After 25 houses and a month of looking, we found our house and made an offer! If you had told me even a year ago that the wife and I would be homeowners by 23, I would have laughed in your face. But, The Lord is so good! After some negotiation, our offer was accepted. There was lots of red tape (and packing tape), but on September 21st, we closed on our first home. We're still settling in and on most days, it's still surreal that we own a home. There's no feeling like coming home after a long day of work and settling into the couch inside your living room. That actually belongs to you. You're not renting it. You own it. WHAT?!?! Didn't I live in a dorm four years ago? Man, how time flies. On Friday, we had some friends over and a priest friend of ours blessed our home. It was a beautiful night and one I won't soon forget. I am very grateful for the blessings in my life including all of our friends and our new home.

The second big thing that has happened since August 26th is that the wife and I agreed to become a presenting team for our local Catholic Engaged Encounter Community. Catholic Engaged Encounter is a Catholic (obviously) ministry that provides weekends retreats for couples preparing for marriage. During the weekend, two presenting teams who are married couples share witnesses about specific topics which are relevant to an engaged couple. Some of the talks focus on understanding ourselves and what we bring to a marriage, decision making in a marriage, and the idea of marriage as a sacrament, among others. Throughout the weekend, the engaged coupled have a really good chunk of time to reflect and talk to each other about what is shared. When the wife and I attended our weekend in February, we really received a lot from it. It was very blessed because it gave a us a much needed break from the hustle and bustle of life to step back and focus on our relationship. It was very affirming for us, because we had actually already talked about most everything that was brought up. At the end of the weekend, we indicated that we would be interested in helping with future weekends-greeting couples, setting up the facilities, handing out papers-and that after we were married for a year we might be interested in becoming a presenting team. Well, about a month ago, the only presenting team in Tallahassee invited us over for dinner and asked if we'd like to be a presenting team on an upcoming weekend in April (one week before our first Anniversary). The couple who usually presents with them is trying to lessen their load and another couple who was working on their talks had to step back due to some family issues that came up. Which left us. The newlyweds. The only couple from the last year or so who indicated they were interested in becoming a presenting team and have kept in contact. Since the wife and I had spoken at length about feeling called to this ministry and helping in this way specifically, we agreed to begin workshopping talks to present in 6 months. Ahhhhhh! The Lord really likes to keep us busy.

We are very excited for this opportunity to serve and witness to God's awesome gift of love in and through the sacrament of marriage. But boy do I feel unworthy. For one, a lot of the couples who attend these weekends are older than we are. Also, we've only been married about six months. Will we even have enough to talk about? But as we have begun work on our first talk, I am assured that The Lord truly is calling us to this and desires to work through us to show His desires and His love to others. And we are both very convicted that marriage is a supremely important sacrament and that there is a lack of understanding of it both within and outside of the Church. If we can help to reach even one person and help that person to better understand God's desire for their marriage, then it will be worth it. I'm also certain it will greatly enrich our marriage as well.

In the midst of all that, life is great! The Lord has abundantly blessed our growing family and I can be nothing but grateful. If you hear me gripe or complain about anything in the next few months, just tell me to come reread this post. I am thankful to have this peace filled and joyful time to fill me for the trials which I am sure will come. Please keep myself and my family in your prayers as we continue on this adventure and know that I am praying for you.

Lord, thank you for your abundant blessings. You are so generous and loving. Thank you for the gift of live, our new home, and the opportunity to serve you. May I never forget that these and all the good things in life are gifts from You. Please continue to bless our family, our home, and Catholic Engaged Encounter. May we be witnesses to Your love and mercy, always keeping you at the center of our lives. When people see us, may they see You.

Amen

Reflections and Thoughts of this guy's heart

Today's readings at Mass were awesome!  The second reading from the fifth chapter of Paul's letter to the Ephesians is the same second reading the wife and I used at our wedding.  In verse 25, Paul charges husbands to "love [their] wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her."  I wonder how well I have done this over the past four months.  To love another person as I love myself can be very difficult, especially when I sometimes have a hard time loving myself!  Of course, Paul reminds us later in the passage that he's referring to the great mystery of Christ's love for the Church.  Most days this makes me shake in my boots.  Those are big shoes to fill (two footwear references in a row, ha!).  I'm supposed to love as Christ loves?  That's crazy hard!  Christ died on the cross for us.  I fail at this more often than I succeed.  Just this afternoon I came home from the store with a list of things to do around the house before the wife got home from a meeting.  Completing even one or two items on the list would have been a small sacrifice that would have shown my wife I care for her and for our home.  What did I do instead?  Sat down and watched two episodes of Parks and Recreation and an episode of Psych.  What a waste of time!!  I was too tired to wash the dishes.  Going to Best Buy, the Dollar Store, and Sams wore me out and I could put the laundry in after one episode of Parks and Rec.  These are the excuses I told myself as I laid down on the couch and turned on the T.V.  Do you think any dishes got done this afternoon while she was at her meeting?  Do you think the laundry made it into the washer before she got home?  Guess what I did when she got home.  I took a nap.  Fail.  The life that Christ calls me to is not easy and I'm far from perfect.  Guess it's time to pick myself back up and try again.  After my nap, I did the dishes and we packed a few boxes (we plan on moving in the next couple of months).  I didn't tell her I was planning on doing these things while she was out.  She knows now, because she'll probably be the first to read this.  Hi honey! =]  But when we mess up, we pick ourselves up and we try, try again.

Why?  It's hard to keep trying over and over and over again.  It's a pain!  No one thinks it's fun to mess something up and have to start over again.  At least not anyone I know.  That brings us to the Gospel reading from today's Mass.  John tells us the disciples were grumbling (again).  "It's hard to follow all these rules!"  "How can we believe all that you tell us?"  Jesus had just finished preaching about His body and blood.  He literally told them to eat His flesh and drink His blood.  He gives us these gifts as the ultimate sacrifice for our salvation.  He calls us to give up our lives daily for the good of others.  John tell us all but twelve of his disciples walked away and didn't look back.  They just couldn't wrap their heads around it.  Jesus asks the twelve if they too want to leave Him.    Peter responds saying, "Master, to whom shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life.  We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God" (Jn 6:68-69).  This is what it's all about.  That's why I can get up and try again when I let others down.  I have lived a life outside of God's law.  I have sinned over and over again without any thought of what it did to me or those around me.  After living that life for years, I looked back and I didn't like what I saw.  I was unhappy and I didn't have real friends.  I wasn't real.  My life had become a lie.  When I moved to college, I got a fresh start.  I found genuinely faithful people and started real friendships.  I witnessed life with God in the people around me and it was appealing.  I started seeking God and turning away from sin.  I found peace and joy.  God continued sending people into my life to draw me closer to Him and to show me His plan for me.  I'm living the life He chose for me and there's no doubt in my mind about it – I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.  Am I going to mess up countless times?  Yes.  Will God still love me?  YES!  That's the reason I can move on when tough stuff happens.  That's what keeps me going when I have a hard day.  That's why I can choose believe in the "hard sayings" the Lord has for us.  Because at the end of the day, where else can I turn?  I want to get to Heaven!  Jesus has the words of eternal life.  I have come to believe and I am convinced that He is the Holy One of God.

Lord, give me the grace to love others as You love me.  Remind me daily of the call to lay my life down for my wife and help me to to joyfully embrace it.  Give me strength in my weakness to love her in the little things as well as the big things.  Show me how to lead her to holiness.  Remind me constantly that I am created in Your image and that I am perfect in Your sight.  Help me to look past the distractions of this world to see the beauty of Your truth.  Enlighten me when I have trouble accepting your "hard sayings."  Continue to bring men and women into my life who love you joyfully and live holy lives.  Give me the grace to persevere in the life you call me to, especially when I face temptation.  Open my eyes  more and more each day to see You.

Amen